Constantine Blows

So yeah, yeah, I never post any more but I do have a good reason: because I'm unemployed and DON'T work at a drive-in, I don't see as many movies as my counterpart. Also, when I do see a movie, I'm generally trashed so I don't remember much. But here goes...

Constantine was terrible. I never really had a problem with Keanu Reeves (look at our pic), but he made a horrible decision. I think the director told him, "Play Neo, but with a overt Christian flair!" Same outfit, same voice, the whole saver-of-the-world-thing. The whole fringe christian thing is becoming a tired genra of entertainment after the interesting "Da Vinci Code." After that, every thing else will suck for 5 years. Sadly, while Hollywood should avoid similar topics for a bit, they're all going to pile on the gravey train.

The movie was a combination of "Dogma" "End of Days" and "The Order." Some sort of high-level betrayal in an attempt to bring about armageddon. But it doesn't work because there are characters just dropped out of the film for no reason. There was even a little Naziism thrown in to boot. And none of it made any sense.

I did like Lucifer however. He made me laugh. That was the only redeeming thing really. I wanted to turn it off about 15 minutes in, but stayed only because we were sharing chinese food and couldn't leave the room because John would've yacked all the boneless spare rips.

I give it a 1 out of 5 because lucifer and the chinese food made me happy.

I can't believe i just said, "I did like Lucifer." Wow, I'm going to go watch 6 hours of PAX as a pennance.

~the Least Coast